i feel like eeyore up in here.
i haven't written a (halfway decent) note in months. i find my software bland and uninspiring. there was a time when just opening up live gave me ideas and i'd pound away for hours. now any little thing i work on seems like a waste of time.
all my old material sounds sophmoric, and nothing new excites me. i'll spend a few hours coming up with a riff, a loop, and some samples, and i just can't seem to sell myself on any of it. it doesn't seem to mean anything to me anymore. just noises. the same tired noises that thousands of other people have put together (no offense). blip-click-boom-screetch and some sine wave melody, maybe some mangled drone in that background for filler and boom...another meaningless conglomeration of bits that sounds like everything else out there.
copy. paste. copy. paste.
am i writing music for myself? or am i trying to write what i think people will like? i don't hear anything in my head anymore. i used to have all sorts of stuff happening up there. now i'm not composing fuck-all, i just turn knobs and press buttons untill it doesn't offend the ear. there's no plan. is this how music is to be written? is this real? if i just process sounds with no intention, no goal, is there even a need for me in this equation? what do i bring to the table here? an executive descision on when to stop turning the knob, even when i'm not sure why i'm turning it or what it does? surely, this can't count as composition. this isn't art. if there's no passion, how can there be art?
even the music i've loved in the past sounds lackluster. what's going on here? am i done with music? that sounds preposterous, yet i must consider it a possibility based on my newfound apathy. if i don't feel it anymore should i give up and find something else to pass the time? would it matter if i did quit? have i burnt myself out on music in general? (lame if true, 'cause this new ipod is something).
christ. i could very easily quit all this and sink into the warm glow of the tv for the rest on my life. anyone got a halfway decent reason not to?
k
i'm uninspired...a long dull whiny post.
-
dirtystudios
- Posts: 1196
- Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2002 1:28 am
No.
https://soundcloud.com/johnkoranek
2020 27" iMac i9 10 core, 64G Ram, OS 10.15.7
Push 2
Novation SL MKIII
iConnectAudio 2+, iConnectMidi 4+
Live 11 Sweet
2020 27" iMac i9 10 core, 64G Ram, OS 10.15.7
Push 2
Novation SL MKIII
iConnectAudio 2+, iConnectMidi 4+
Live 11 Sweet
-
montrealbreaks
- Posts: 995
- Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:38 pm
- Location: Montreal Canada
Re: i'm uninspired...a long dull whiny post.
Two pieces of advice that have gotten me out of a slump; assuming that you are in a slump and not forever done with music that is...dirtystudios wrote:i feel like eeyore up in here.
i haven't written a (halfway decent) note in months. i find my software bland and uninspiring. there was a time when just opening up live gave me ideas and i'd pound away for hours. now any little thing i work on seems like a waste of time.
all my old material sounds sophmoric, and nothing new excites me. i'll spend a few hours coming up with a riff, a loop, and some samples, and i just can't seem to sell myself on any of it. it doesn't seem to mean anything to me anymore. just noises. the same tired noises that thousands of other people have put together (no offense). blip-click-boom-screetch and some sine wave melody, maybe some mangled drone in that background for filler and boom...another meaningless conglomeration of bits that sounds like everything else out there.
copy. paste. copy. paste.
am i writing music for myself? or am i trying to write what i think people will like? i don't hear anything in my head anymore. i used to have all sorts of stuff happening up there. now i'm not composing fuck-all, i just turn knobs and press buttons untill it doesn't offend the ear. there's no plan. is this how music is to be written? is this real? if i just process sounds with no intention, no goal, is there even a need for me in this equation? what do i bring to the table here? an executive descision on when to stop turning the knob, even when i'm not sure why i'm turning it or what it does? surely, this can't count as composition. this isn't art. if there's no passion, how can there be art?
even the music i've loved in the past sounds lackluster. what's going on here? am i done with music? that sounds preposterous, yet i must consider it a possibility based on my newfound apathy. if i don't feel it anymore should i give up and find something else to pass the time? would it matter if i did quit? have i burnt myself out on music in general? (lame if true, 'cause this new ipod is something).
christ. i could very easily quit all this and sink into the warm glow of the tv for the rest on my life. anyone got a halfway decent reason not to?
k
1. SELF IMPOSED DEADLINES. Man, this one works for me. Without a deadline, I wouldn't get ANYTHING done, and you would be amazed how this works. "I promise to have a new track for the gig next month" forces you to do just that.
2. Change something up. Could be software, hardware, or an element of your life, or even your musical style.
I'll use myself as an example: I used to do Hip-Hop back in the late 80s and early 90s. I got bored with it and disillusioned by the gangsta shit that was becoming pervasive at the time. I gave up music for YEARS until I got into electronic music (not that Hip-Hop wasn't electronic, but you all know what I mean). I changed gear and styles, and wrote a ton of tracks.
It was great for a couple of years, but I got in a rut again. This time it was in hard freeform, gabber and shit like that. Fun, but my music, once inspired, became formulaic. I started digging breaks (to listen to, not to write) when I met a breaks dude out of Florida, and we discussed why his music was so much more inspired than mine. He thought (correctly) it was just because it was DIFFERENT. So, I got into writing breaks too. It was going fine for a long while, but then it got stagnant again.
I moved to Yellowknife NWT Canada - for those who don't know, it's WAAAY north, where we got only a couple of hours of daylight in the winter. My first couple of months there, I wrote a series of the best tracks of my life.
Now, I am starting to stagnate again, and Ableton Live is my solution - I have begun a long, painful process of dumping hardware and slicing down my studio, and the transition from hardware to software has been my inspiration. I find changing tools makes me more creative, as I explore new ways of doing things...
Anyways, my advice is to change something about your lifestyle, production methodology or musical style. It will get you back on track hopefully.
L8er
Montrealbreaks
Sorry, just couldn't resist.
TV is hardly the solution. You're just turning in one set of knobs and executive decisions for another set.
What can I say, I've been there, and I'll probably be there again. I compliment you on some clear and brutal honesty. Self-expression in any form is good.
Things to try:
1) Set limits - So you've got a million loops and Reason patches. Maybe dozens of soft synths. Select a very small set and see how far you can get. Or try solo stuff like Pat Matheney's "One Quiet Night."
2) Do a search for Oblique Strategies. These are a set of ideas that Brian Eno and Peter Schmitt came up with to get you over creative bumps - they are very cool.
3) Check out any book by Eric Maisel, especially "Fearless Creating."
4) Stop playing completely and do something different. In a few weeks when you get the urge to play again, wait another week! Wait till your crawling the walls to play.
5) Sit quietly in your studio and just wait. Eventually something will show up. Keep engaged. When you lose this engagement, go back to sitting and waiting.
6) Quit trying to be a star. Krishnamurti says that we want fame and glory because we don't love what we are doing. Something to think about.
There are other things to do, but it's a start. Hope it helps - John K.
TV is hardly the solution. You're just turning in one set of knobs and executive decisions for another set.
What can I say, I've been there, and I'll probably be there again. I compliment you on some clear and brutal honesty. Self-expression in any form is good.
Things to try:
1) Set limits - So you've got a million loops and Reason patches. Maybe dozens of soft synths. Select a very small set and see how far you can get. Or try solo stuff like Pat Matheney's "One Quiet Night."
2) Do a search for Oblique Strategies. These are a set of ideas that Brian Eno and Peter Schmitt came up with to get you over creative bumps - they are very cool.
3) Check out any book by Eric Maisel, especially "Fearless Creating."
4) Stop playing completely and do something different. In a few weeks when you get the urge to play again, wait another week! Wait till your crawling the walls to play.
5) Sit quietly in your studio and just wait. Eventually something will show up. Keep engaged. When you lose this engagement, go back to sitting and waiting.
6) Quit trying to be a star. Krishnamurti says that we want fame and glory because we don't love what we are doing. Something to think about.
There are other things to do, but it's a start. Hope it helps - John K.
https://soundcloud.com/johnkoranek
2020 27" iMac i9 10 core, 64G Ram, OS 10.15.7
Push 2
Novation SL MKIII
iConnectAudio 2+, iConnectMidi 4+
Live 11 Sweet
2020 27" iMac i9 10 core, 64G Ram, OS 10.15.7
Push 2
Novation SL MKIII
iConnectAudio 2+, iConnectMidi 4+
Live 11 Sweet
don't give up, I like what I've heard from you , dirtystudios. A few possible suggestions/thoughts--I think all creative people go through spells of lots of creativity, and times of no creativity. Sometime I find its related to life happenings--often the saddest times in life seem to produce and inspire some of the best music. Sometimes the happiest times produce no good music, sometimes it doesn;t make sense. For me, I find myself creating songs around the first element I compose, be it a bassline (most often), guitar or keyboard chord progression, or a melody idea, or evev a beat. Once I have one of these elements that I'm somewhat happy with, I try to quickly flesh out the arrangement without getting to persnickety about sounds or playing the parts perfectly. Sometimes I'll take certain parts out and try totally different one--i.e. I often build up more parts than I need, then pick and choose. Sometimes the original part doesn't fit anymore and I re-do it to fit what I've come up with.
I guess I'm assuming you play some sort of instrument (keyboards?), otherwise this method is rather hard to do with loops and samples. A few other ideas--maybe try to write a song in a totally different style than you're used to, even if its just an exercise for fun. Make yourself work fast and stick with your first response gut insticts. Maybe try to pick up a new instrument, get a cheap bass, or my favorite musical purchase to date--a midi DrumKat on which you can bang out beats with sticks. I use mine to record into FL studio (piano roll mainly, step seq. at gigs) doing just one or two drum sounds at a time (kick and snare, then hats, then percussion) because I'm not much of a drummer, and I can get fuller more tight parts that way. Maybe try FL if you haven't. I dunno, maybe this lull is related to something non-musical in your life, or maybe this is an exciting turning point where if you hold on you'll come up with something uniquely your own and you'll be off and running again. I've felt like you have before--listening to my old stuff and thinking how much better it could be, and getting discouraged that its all been done before. Make music for yourself--if you are happy with the result, surely others will be too--its way to hard to try and make what you think others might want to hear. And there's always sleep deprevation, booze, or weed to put your head in a different place, but ymmv
Don't give up yet, but sometimes even just taking a break for a week or two can do wonders--live life up, and come back to the music after a bit of relaxing and not thinking about it--this is the best way I've found to break habits and redundant ideas and processes. Anyhow, hope things turn around. Maybe you'll find that your reason not to stop is stopping for awhile. I've found that when I'm away from my bass for more than a few days, I turn into a tool, and even if I'm not consciouly thinking about it, I NEED my bass, its like therapy. Your creative juices will hopefully build up til you have to go create some music.
Ryan
I guess I'm assuming you play some sort of instrument (keyboards?), otherwise this method is rather hard to do with loops and samples. A few other ideas--maybe try to write a song in a totally different style than you're used to, even if its just an exercise for fun. Make yourself work fast and stick with your first response gut insticts. Maybe try to pick up a new instrument, get a cheap bass, or my favorite musical purchase to date--a midi DrumKat on which you can bang out beats with sticks. I use mine to record into FL studio (piano roll mainly, step seq. at gigs) doing just one or two drum sounds at a time (kick and snare, then hats, then percussion) because I'm not much of a drummer, and I can get fuller more tight parts that way. Maybe try FL if you haven't. I dunno, maybe this lull is related to something non-musical in your life, or maybe this is an exciting turning point where if you hold on you'll come up with something uniquely your own and you'll be off and running again. I've felt like you have before--listening to my old stuff and thinking how much better it could be, and getting discouraged that its all been done before. Make music for yourself--if you are happy with the result, surely others will be too--its way to hard to try and make what you think others might want to hear. And there's always sleep deprevation, booze, or weed to put your head in a different place, but ymmv
Don't give up yet, but sometimes even just taking a break for a week or two can do wonders--live life up, and come back to the music after a bit of relaxing and not thinking about it--this is the best way I've found to break habits and redundant ideas and processes. Anyhow, hope things turn around. Maybe you'll find that your reason not to stop is stopping for awhile. I've found that when I'm away from my bass for more than a few days, I turn into a tool, and even if I'm not consciouly thinking about it, I NEED my bass, its like therapy. Your creative juices will hopefully build up til you have to go create some music.Ryan
-
noisetonepause
- Posts: 4938
- Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2002 3:38 pm
- Location: Sticks and stones
Where did you start out with music?
Find the core - what do you think music is?
I been where you are - I am there quite often, really! My story is like this... For me, "salvation" was writing actual songs... lyrics, melodies, countermelodies, chords, strctures, hooks... and THEN giving it the electronic treatment. I grew up in part on the Prodigy, in part on Bryan Adams and shit... when I started doing music with electronic gear, it was the dance influence that come through, but I never could do it properly. I liked listening to the stuff, but doing it just didn't work for me - something was missing. Then I got into Philip Glass, Steve Reich and even Igor Stravinskij and I started to weird out. It was fun, but still didn't mean anything to me and didn't come together... I did six or so pieces that I couldn't call anything but Etudes - I was trying to invent a language but when I looked at it again, it was just devoid of emotion and purpose and colour. No matter how intellectual or artsy or well though out it was, it just made no sense. So one day, I trip over this one piece in my 'scrap' pile of poetry, essays, and lyrics from back when I was in a band... it was called Six Billion Reasons or summat (think I added the title later), and the last verse went "A thousand bricks to lay, as many words to say/thousand unseen places and six billion reasons/to go out and see them, carpe diem/shake hands and bring compassion back into season". With my usual sense of humility, I thought, not only is that a clever rhyme scheme (and I did three verses that fit
), this is a song the world needs to hear. It HAS to be written. So I picked up the guitar and bashed away untill I had something that fitted and I recorded it. It didn't turn out as fantastic as I wanted it to be, but I'll pick it up again some day cos I'm still proud of these lyrics... anyways, it sort of snowballed from there. Just wrote songs that had to be written - just reflections of my thoughts and my life and the world. I'm constantly writing down words and phrases and lines and stuff... basically, I see my music as a way of making sense of the world. What *I* love about music (even instrumental music - really digging Sjostakovitj and Satie these days) is the way that a good piece will just slow reality down and explain to you exactly how to deal with an emotion... I do this with words better than with tunes, but you may not be a wordsmith. All I'm saying is that thinking of music as a reflection of your life... if this don't help you start writing, you can do a cover of my song 'meaning of waste' which I wrote one time I was in a slump. A part of it goes "It's been months since I last wrote anything worthwhile - hours and days since I last found the need to smile - and I'll show you the meaning of waste"
Hope this rant helps. If not, I might be interested in storing some of you gear for you until you get better
-Paws
Find the core - what do you think music is?
I been where you are - I am there quite often, really! My story is like this... For me, "salvation" was writing actual songs... lyrics, melodies, countermelodies, chords, strctures, hooks... and THEN giving it the electronic treatment. I grew up in part on the Prodigy, in part on Bryan Adams and shit... when I started doing music with electronic gear, it was the dance influence that come through, but I never could do it properly. I liked listening to the stuff, but doing it just didn't work for me - something was missing. Then I got into Philip Glass, Steve Reich and even Igor Stravinskij and I started to weird out. It was fun, but still didn't mean anything to me and didn't come together... I did six or so pieces that I couldn't call anything but Etudes - I was trying to invent a language but when I looked at it again, it was just devoid of emotion and purpose and colour. No matter how intellectual or artsy or well though out it was, it just made no sense. So one day, I trip over this one piece in my 'scrap' pile of poetry, essays, and lyrics from back when I was in a band... it was called Six Billion Reasons or summat (think I added the title later), and the last verse went "A thousand bricks to lay, as many words to say/thousand unseen places and six billion reasons/to go out and see them, carpe diem/shake hands and bring compassion back into season". With my usual sense of humility, I thought, not only is that a clever rhyme scheme (and I did three verses that fit
), this is a song the world needs to hear. It HAS to be written. So I picked up the guitar and bashed away untill I had something that fitted and I recorded it. It didn't turn out as fantastic as I wanted it to be, but I'll pick it up again some day cos I'm still proud of these lyrics... anyways, it sort of snowballed from there. Just wrote songs that had to be written - just reflections of my thoughts and my life and the world. I'm constantly writing down words and phrases and lines and stuff... basically, I see my music as a way of making sense of the world. What *I* love about music (even instrumental music - really digging Sjostakovitj and Satie these days) is the way that a good piece will just slow reality down and explain to you exactly how to deal with an emotion... I do this with words better than with tunes, but you may not be a wordsmith. All I'm saying is that thinking of music as a reflection of your life... if this don't help you start writing, you can do a cover of my song 'meaning of waste' which I wrote one time I was in a slump. A part of it goes "It's been months since I last wrote anything worthwhile - hours and days since I last found the need to smile - and I'll show you the meaning of waste" Hope this rant helps. If not, I might be interested in storing some of you gear for you until you get better
-Paws
Suit #1: I mean, have you got any insight as to why a bright boy like this would jeopardize the lives of millions?
Suit #2: No, sir, he says he does this sort of thing for fun.
Suit #2: No, sir, he says he does this sort of thing for fun.
-
dirtystudios
- Posts: 1196
- Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2002 1:28 am
thanks, you guys rock. actually, smoking pot again isn't a half bad idea. my brain cells have had it too easy for too long.
koranek, i actually use oblique strategies and find it to be wonderfull. i developed a version for ipod notes. you can downlaod it at http://www.dirtystudios.com/os.dmg if you'd like. just copy the folder into your ipod's notes folder. it includes all four versions (more or less) worth of cards, and they're numerically labeled, so just scroll to a random one and select it.
thanks again all. i hate these ruts, especially when you can't see the end. too much introspection can be a dangerous thing, maybe these objective views will be what i need to dig myself out.
k
koranek, i actually use oblique strategies and find it to be wonderfull. i developed a version for ipod notes. you can downlaod it at http://www.dirtystudios.com/os.dmg if you'd like. just copy the folder into your ipod's notes folder. it includes all four versions (more or less) worth of cards, and they're numerically labeled, so just scroll to a random one and select it.
thanks again all. i hate these ruts, especially when you can't see the end. too much introspection can be a dangerous thing, maybe these objective views will be what i need to dig myself out.
k
-
dirtystudios
- Posts: 1196
- Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2002 1:28 am
-
noisetonepause
- Posts: 4938
- Joined: Sat Dec 28, 2002 3:38 pm
- Location: Sticks and stones
I read the rant on your site and loved it. Introspection is indeed dangerous but I think it's something that certain people can't really escape... I'm one of them... as for the conversations with people in your head bit, I can relate
Listening to your music as well, I must say I like it. I actually like it very much. There are some time stretched percussion sounds two thirds into Tiny Wings that have Live written all over them... funny how you start to notice things like this...
-Paws
Listening to your music as well, I must say I like it. I actually like it very much. There are some time stretched percussion sounds two thirds into Tiny Wings that have Live written all over them... funny how you start to notice things like this...
-Paws
Suit #1: I mean, have you got any insight as to why a bright boy like this would jeopardize the lives of millions?
Suit #2: No, sir, he says he does this sort of thing for fun.
Suit #2: No, sir, he says he does this sort of thing for fun.
-
lasers and their beams
- Posts: 78
- Joined: Sat Jun 08, 2002 12:10 pm
- Location: philadelphia
Dirty, I love TV...there are few things I love more. It is friendly, warm, comforting. Don't deny it. Get one of those "iTalk" things and plug your TV into your ipod and make some instant wav files. You're gonna be watching the final "Friends" on thursday anyway, right? Grab that, tear it to shreds, and funk that shit up at your next show. A cheaper solution than the Brian Eno cards.
-
UknowWHO
No offence but.....
This whole line gets to me well paragraph actually
Blip-click-boom-screetch and some sine wave melody,maybe some mangled drone for filler in the background and boom...another meaningless conglomeration of bits that sound like everything else out there.........
And then you have the gall to post later on how you're a great fan of oblique strategies
.
Now get of your whining little bitchass and get a life would you.
I'm gonna be saying way more than I should here but anyway here it goes.
I am a Mid 30's something who really went a bit wild and strayed off the path in my very late teens early twenties.
By 22 years of age I was HIV+ .
By 24 years of age my partner was dead.
By 25 my only life coping solutions where well um...... pot(gunja) and partying in a major way.
By 29 my 4 best friends where dead 1 suicide , 1 accidental overdose ,2 AIDS related . I had a T-CELL count of 8 (ie:no immune system ,developed a MycoBacterial infection in the chest ,lost nearly half my body weight (by this stage I was 5'10" tall and 54kg's).
I was category 4.2c (critical) terminal stage with AIDS related complex.
At this point in my life it was stay this way and die or change and live.
I packed my bags ,called up my brother and walked away from everything ,my posessions ,my music ,my "so called friends"........
Nearly 8 years later I'm a nonsmoker ,nondrinker ,haven't touched pot in 8 years or recreational chemicals in over 10.
My weight is now around 86kg's , I have a partner whose HIV - negative and accepts me for me.
A family I love very much.
A Mother and Father who have become my two closest friends .
A partner who is a gentle loving soul.
A small circle of "true" friends who mean more to me than life itself.
I still have chronic health problems every once in a while.
But it's been 15 years and I'm still here.
I've outlived 1 partner my 4 best friends and numerous associates who where all diagnosed with HIV/AIDS later in life than I was.
Music should be enjoyable ,it should also be cathartic ,cleansing ,spiritual ,uplifting and a labour of love.
Without it I am nothing - it is my tool for the devine expression of my soul as self.
It keeps me healthy ,focused and on a balanced equillibrium.
I have days where what I create sucks ...well don't we all.
I have times when I wanna give up but.....
they call it LIFE because
Living Isn't Fucking Easy.
Be true to yourself in all things ,find inspiration in the devine ,believe in miracles and don't ever ever forget to dream.
The world at the moment does not have enough dreamers.
Your musical endeavours at the moment sound like an exercise in mediocrity and not a celebration of the LIFE you've been given.
Living by it's very nature can sometimes be very very hard.
LIFE on the other hand is a very beautiful thing.
You my friend need to learn how to celebrate it.
The sunrise everymorning is a gift , your nightly dream state is a gift ,your ability to create is a gift.
Look around you at mother nature the most beautiful music of all ,the song of life.
The blade of grass that grows .
The wind that whisps through the trees .
The eagles that swoop and soar on the breeze.
The great whales of the ocean .
The diverse mysteries of the universe and the devine are there to inspire you.
Music was my main muse as a teenager I played bass guitar ,flute and a little keys from the age of twelve.
By the time I was in my mid 20's I was shackled by fear .
Fear of living ,fear of dying ,fear of what the future held.
I have since rediscovered my muse.
My partner and family encourage me in all endeavours musically and artistically related.
I have learned that part of lifes enjoyment is just being able to let go.
Be in the moment and see it for the gift that it is.
I will never have a massive musical career.
Success is a quantifiable thing.
Surving and living with a disease like this for nearly 16 years is succes in itself.
Having the love of another and of my family and acceptance by my friends is success in itself.
It's time for you to take stock put things in perspective and remember all those things that first gave you that creative fire.
Get some life perspetive and get back on track.
You've been blessed with a healthy body and healthy mind.
Celebrate it.
Just a little something for you to ponder when you feel low .
Trust me in the grand scheme of things it's all good.
You've just gotta believe it too.
My whole world
Stands in front of me
By the look in my eyes
By the look in my eyes
My whole world stretches in front of me
Reaching up like a Flower
Leading my life back to the soil
David Sylvian - Brillaint Trees
Blip-click-boom-screetch and some sine wave melody,maybe some mangled drone for filler in the background and boom...another meaningless conglomeration of bits that sound like everything else out there.........
And then you have the gall to post later on how you're a great fan of oblique strategies
.Now get of your whining little bitchass and get a life would you.
I'm gonna be saying way more than I should here but anyway here it goes.
I am a Mid 30's something who really went a bit wild and strayed off the path in my very late teens early twenties.
By 22 years of age I was HIV+ .
By 24 years of age my partner was dead.
By 25 my only life coping solutions where well um...... pot(gunja) and partying in a major way.
By 29 my 4 best friends where dead 1 suicide , 1 accidental overdose ,2 AIDS related . I had a T-CELL count of 8 (ie:no immune system ,developed a MycoBacterial infection in the chest ,lost nearly half my body weight (by this stage I was 5'10" tall and 54kg's).
I was category 4.2c (critical) terminal stage with AIDS related complex.
At this point in my life it was stay this way and die or change and live.
I packed my bags ,called up my brother and walked away from everything ,my posessions ,my music ,my "so called friends"........
Nearly 8 years later I'm a nonsmoker ,nondrinker ,haven't touched pot in 8 years or recreational chemicals in over 10.
My weight is now around 86kg's , I have a partner whose HIV - negative and accepts me for me.
A family I love very much.
A Mother and Father who have become my two closest friends .
A partner who is a gentle loving soul.
A small circle of "true" friends who mean more to me than life itself.
I still have chronic health problems every once in a while.
But it's been 15 years and I'm still here.
I've outlived 1 partner my 4 best friends and numerous associates who where all diagnosed with HIV/AIDS later in life than I was.
Music should be enjoyable ,it should also be cathartic ,cleansing ,spiritual ,uplifting and a labour of love.
Without it I am nothing - it is my tool for the devine expression of my soul as self.
It keeps me healthy ,focused and on a balanced equillibrium.
I have days where what I create sucks ...well don't we all.
I have times when I wanna give up but.....
they call it LIFE because
Living Isn't Fucking Easy.
Be true to yourself in all things ,find inspiration in the devine ,believe in miracles and don't ever ever forget to dream.
The world at the moment does not have enough dreamers.
Your musical endeavours at the moment sound like an exercise in mediocrity and not a celebration of the LIFE you've been given.
Living by it's very nature can sometimes be very very hard.
LIFE on the other hand is a very beautiful thing.
You my friend need to learn how to celebrate it.
The sunrise everymorning is a gift , your nightly dream state is a gift ,your ability to create is a gift.
Look around you at mother nature the most beautiful music of all ,the song of life.
The blade of grass that grows .
The wind that whisps through the trees .
The eagles that swoop and soar on the breeze.
The great whales of the ocean .
The diverse mysteries of the universe and the devine are there to inspire you.
Music was my main muse as a teenager I played bass guitar ,flute and a little keys from the age of twelve.
By the time I was in my mid 20's I was shackled by fear .
Fear of living ,fear of dying ,fear of what the future held.
I have since rediscovered my muse.
My partner and family encourage me in all endeavours musically and artistically related.
I have learned that part of lifes enjoyment is just being able to let go.
Be in the moment and see it for the gift that it is.
I will never have a massive musical career.
Success is a quantifiable thing.
Surving and living with a disease like this for nearly 16 years is succes in itself.
Having the love of another and of my family and acceptance by my friends is success in itself.
It's time for you to take stock put things in perspective and remember all those things that first gave you that creative fire.
Get some life perspetive and get back on track.
You've been blessed with a healthy body and healthy mind.
Celebrate it.
Just a little something for you to ponder when you feel low .
Trust me in the grand scheme of things it's all good.
You've just gotta believe it too.
My whole world
Stands in front of me
By the look in my eyes
By the look in my eyes
My whole world stretches in front of me
Reaching up like a Flower
Leading my life back to the soil
David Sylvian - Brillaint Trees
I can absolutely relate to your post/rant. Some of the phrasing you used I have actually rendered many times in my head (word for word almost) when creativity heads for the cliff. You've had some excellent replies so far and it can't be emphasized enough that this happens to most of us. I've discussed it with musicians I know here in NYC and believe me, you are not alone. It's very common but this is the course of nature, peaks and valleys. You cannot be inspired 100% of the time, life simply doesn't seem to work that way. I get frustrated too when I can't seem to write a single f***ing hook for weeks on end, but I've learned to accept it and not let it consume me.
Not to get too spiritual on your ass, but have you tried yoga? No laughs, I'm being serious. It can be an immense help. You'd be surprised how many people don't breathe properly, don't learn the art of relaxing and meditation. I was skeptical about it but now I swear by it. Of course, you have to want to believe in it in order to feel a change. It's a mindgame that can work in your favor. Meditation is now essential to me, perhaps not everyday, but at least once or twice a week.
Other things you can do, and this is key: travel.
Get out there, break the mundane and daily routine. No need for an expensive trip, just go anywhere different, breathe some new air, let yourself be curious again and want to discover new places, meet new people, talk shop with a complete stranger, all that stuff can bring some new inspiration.
Try to remember why you started recording music in the first place and see what has changed. You'll eventually be able to isolate a few key elements that are not letting you 'tap in' to the creative consciousness and as a result, you can focus on those few things and get things rolling again.
Read a good book (even those cheezy self-help books, some are great), listen to different music. Try and re-discover yourself and let the music really become an extension of yourself, this is how you'll develop your own sound, without fear or inhibitions, write stuff you like because you - above anyone else- like it.
Good luck.
Not to get too spiritual on your ass, but have you tried yoga? No laughs, I'm being serious. It can be an immense help. You'd be surprised how many people don't breathe properly, don't learn the art of relaxing and meditation. I was skeptical about it but now I swear by it. Of course, you have to want to believe in it in order to feel a change. It's a mindgame that can work in your favor. Meditation is now essential to me, perhaps not everyday, but at least once or twice a week.
Other things you can do, and this is key: travel.
Get out there, break the mundane and daily routine. No need for an expensive trip, just go anywhere different, breathe some new air, let yourself be curious again and want to discover new places, meet new people, talk shop with a complete stranger, all that stuff can bring some new inspiration.
Try to remember why you started recording music in the first place and see what has changed. You'll eventually be able to isolate a few key elements that are not letting you 'tap in' to the creative consciousness and as a result, you can focus on those few things and get things rolling again.
Read a good book (even those cheezy self-help books, some are great), listen to different music. Try and re-discover yourself and let the music really become an extension of yourself, this is how you'll develop your own sound, without fear or inhibitions, write stuff you like because you - above anyone else- like it.
Good luck.
-
Amberience
- Posts: 967
- Joined: Tue Sep 23, 2003 2:09 am
- Location: London, UK
My advice: Stop trying. Stop thinking about it. Carry on churning out ideas. Carry on churning out complete crap.
Then at the end of that. Your system will be full of complete tosh... worth absoloutely nothing.
Then what I want you do to is delete it all. Every single song you've started - Get rid of it.
The idea is to cleanse yourself of all of the negative bullshit you keep thinking about thats preventing you from making music - You should make music that pleases yourself.
If other people like it, thats a bonus, but its not the master plan - or it shouldn't be anyway.
As for inspiration - Look in places you wouldn't normally; books, movies, surrounding buildings... take a picture and write a track that describes the picture in audio form.
Think outside the box: Nihilism is NOT the answer!!
Then at the end of that. Your system will be full of complete tosh... worth absoloutely nothing.
Then what I want you do to is delete it all. Every single song you've started - Get rid of it.
The idea is to cleanse yourself of all of the negative bullshit you keep thinking about thats preventing you from making music - You should make music that pleases yourself.
If other people like it, thats a bonus, but its not the master plan - or it shouldn't be anyway.
As for inspiration - Look in places you wouldn't normally; books, movies, surrounding buildings... take a picture and write a track that describes the picture in audio form.
Think outside the box: Nihilism is NOT the answer!!