Ableton Forum

i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

i know what you are thinking, just sample your own farts and use those, but i have already, i have a whole fart load of farts mapped out in a sampler. i want to do a nice fart track that blends acoustic organic farts with cutting edge elektrik farts. the hip hop remix of the track will focus more on the acoustic farts and the more upbeat tekno remix will rely on the electro farts that the fart synth can create. the actual track its self will be an even mix of both acoustic and synth generated farts layed into a nice deep funky house track celebrating the gift of fart.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

Oh, kind sir, I have exactly what you need...






...give me a sec...













...hmmm...













....

























...AHA!!!











http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartboard.html

There is a precedent here...

http://www.flatulina.com/

D DAS,

Most farts are rather short in duration, so you're likey going to find use in a pharse sampler. It's not called Farktor, but I've found very life-like bursts in Battery 2. Combine those with some siient-but-deadly hi-hats and you're cooking.

Sam

Sales Dude McBoob wrote:D DAS,
Combine those with some siient-but-deadly hi-hats and you're cooking.

Sam

Cooking with gas I'd say

Hook this up to a pedal and you've got magic!

Am I the only one who is asking...why?

yes

forge wrote:Am I the only one who is asking...why?

shitty music is an artform

rbmonosylabik wrote:http://www.ebaumsworld.com/fartboard.html

- Colon Powel -


I was instantly reminded of vurtbox/mini-vurtbox



http://www.krakli.co.uk/music/vurtboxdemo.mp3

available on Krakli's download page http://www.krakli.co.uk/freesynths.asp

Give it a try - the demo doesn't do it full justice - try some low notes - luverly.

Lot's of other interesting stuff on thier site - PC only though

I think it's a really artistically valid thing to have a go at D Das, especially given the current state of the music industry. Some kind of physical modelling synth might be the best way to go.

Maybe there should be some kind of contest.

Ask on the max forum.
They made a funny sheep generator once

if u are looking for a more 'synthesised' fart sound, why not try vocoding or autotuning some of your existing farts? u can be on the cutting edge of the ass with ideas like this

Hmmm...

Been recording your own farts huh?

One good reason never to buy a used mic on eBay!!

Martyn wrote:I think it's a really artistically valid thing to have a go at D Das, especially given the current state of the music industry. Some kind of physical modelling synth might be the best way to go.

Maybe there should be some kind of contest.

I definetly think there should be more contests like this. I love the idea of people attempting to do something unusual with synthesis.
I was thinking a while back about this one when someone said "you can't MAKE a breakbeat unless you get a drum kit and a mic, otherwise you have to sample or use existing breaks" and that got me thinking "no way... you could make a breakbeat with analog sounds only..." but people rarely do it. so i was thinking there should be a contest for analog breaks. how break beaty can you get analog stuff to be?

and this fart thing would be fun too.. personally I'm thinking if you were going to go synthesis all the way on it it would have to be some sort of modular synth with some strange modulations going on on the lfo to make the low pitches and high end of the filters kinda flutter.

D DAS wrote:i need a synth (soft or hard) that can really squeeze out some farts. everything from soft delicate farts to rough rumbly farts.

i know what you are thinking, just sample your own farts and use those, but i have already, i have a whole fart load of farts mapped out in a sampler. i want to do a nice fart track that blends acoustic organic farts with cutting edge elektrik farts. the hip hop remix of the track will focus more on the acoustic farts and the more upbeat tekno remix will rely on the electro farts that the fart synth can create. the actual track its self will be an even mix of both acoustic and synth generated farts layed into a nice deep funky house track celebrating the gift of fart.

so please, were to go on this one. i thought NI with all of their selections would have a farktor or something available but no such luck. and operator i see has no fart presets.

help please.

d~

I happen to have some of the finest recorded farts around, imho.

4 different musicians on a perfect vintage Elam Telefunken 251 into a

vintage Neve 1081, to a vintage La2a, straight wired to a panasonic 3800.

That's a $22,000 signal chain in one of the finest studios in L.A. 4 minutes in total. Very nice. No joke.

One fartist has the longest, most intense farts in fart history, which could be used
for some fart pads. I could be convinced to throw them up on my ftp, but I may need to
contact ascap and clear the farts. This is serious stuff. If any farts are recognized
in your fart art, there would be hell to pay. Or maybe we should have our
fart publishers hash it out. Anyway, it's about as fine as fart quality can get. Interested?